personal life takes a hold.

 personal life: long story short, I’ll have to write an appeals letter to the office of admission at UCSC. 

Thankfully, it’s because I missed sending documents on time (which is most likely going to happen, stupid collegeboard.org…) and so there’s guidelines in how to appeal for that. And I feel like a good shot, since a lot of things have been invested towards UCSC, like housing confirmation and financial aid, and orientation appointment. 

But there’s always that needling anxiety of having that fail despite it. That somehow spaces for students are gone once my admission has been cancelled/revoked. It’s just.. ugh, a lot of stress and conflict in me and in the house because of my epic fail. 

Basically having my parents unleash their floodgate of resentment towards me and my carelessness and unproductivity. 

But it's making me feel really demotivated to do fan stuff, like putting energy into rp-ing or into FFVII on the pc. I've mostly tried to veg out on the Atelier Totori game on the vita (which is a lot of fun, and time management games tend to make me do things repetitively in some semblance of active mind activity; also, the English dub is better to take in compared to the ~*uber moe*~ Japanese voices).