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[zen_monk]

 It'll soon be two weeks until the Fall Quarter starts at UCSC, and I guess that means I'm at the halfway point of my vacation since I finished up my summer session back at the last week of August. While I curse at school starting pretty much in the start of October, I also thought that vacation felt too long as well as being over too soon. It's been a while since I've been at home for more than a whole week before absconding off again to school, so it's a strange sense of getting over being a stranger in my own home. 

Though, not that excited for another move-in day coming up. All that packing and extra stuff, man. I still thank all my college luck that I scored on-campus housing, and that it's a single to boot in an apartment where I'll share space with 5 other people, and especially at a part of the school where it's way easier for me to scoot over to my job at the dining hall (which shortchanged me a lot of work hours... since I broke myself after an escapade to Anime Expo, among other things). 

But aside from eating and sleeping, I think I'll make a list of what media I'm consuming, which includes a list of games since that's what I do most days: 

Atelier Rorona: The Alchemist of Arland, in other words the most low-stress cutesy time management game i got for the Vita where no one is more unpleasant than usual and making things with alchemy while on a deadline is addictive. 

Tales of Xillia; I finished up Milla's storyline- super awesome main character- and started up male co-protagonist Jude's story. Lots more vulnerable, thoughtful moments in this side of the story, but it fits the fact that to Milla's strong-willed warrior protagonist, this amiable twink is known in and out of the game as the most supportive "Mom" character, who finds value in being the supporter of someone's ultimate goals. 

Dragon Age 2; I started a whole new playthrough intending to be both "red" F!Hawke with a smattering of diplomatic Hawke. It definitely changes the tone of the game for me, though more decisive game decisions, i usually go for the more... shall we say "kinder" route. Also planning to actually complete the Merrill and Isabela romances, since after running through DA a couple times with getting some of the dudes' I got overly fatigued of the game as a whole. And after consuming a lot of meta of Dragon Age, especially in the wake of all the recent news of DA: I, I feel like this gameplay is making me much more conscious of how each character do the things they do in the greater narrative. 

I did pause my playthrough so that I could utilize my PS3 more, tho. 

which didn't stop me from playing the biggest time waster, Sims 2....

I also started the "Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies" game on the iOS. The minute I saw it on sale, I went and download it without a backwards glance at my wallet, ahhahaha. Lots more new features, too, especially when utilizing the 3D aspect of the game. Characters' body tics are animated much more smoothly, giving more convincing body language to me while being incredibly dynamic and full of personality. I can't help but feel there's so much good to this game, even if the voice acting doesn't always match up my established preconceptions of how Phoenix and others were voiced. Aha haha, oh Sam Riegel.... 

Athena Cykes is a blessing. 

Also still going through Fire Emblem: Awakening. Got pretty far in the story, though, but I gotta say....this game might as well be "Shipping! The Tactical RPG!" given that you can have <i>children</i> born from constant interaction with characters where it builds on affection points and then a love confession. Oh yeah, and the story is pretty deep and meaningful. Yup. The story. 

Then I have an FF5 playthrough on my iPad and then it's like... huh, I guess I consume a lot more games than I thought I do now. I can't believe I have this much time on my hands. My grandparents are right.... I should vacuum or something. Or pick up my piano again.

Comments

[sarasa_cat]

Dragon Age 2; I started a whole new playthrough intending to be both "red" F!Hawke with a smattering of diplomatic Hawke. It definitely changes the tone of the game for me, though more decisive game decisions, i usually go for the more... shall we say "kinder" route.

I love how DA2 feels like a very different game based on Hawke's primary tone.

after running through DA a couple times with getting some of the dudes' I got overly fatigued of the game as a whole.

For me the Fenris and Anders romances (friend or rival) mentally fatigue me unless I am RPing a Hawke who is very purposefully constructed for the romance or rivalmance, and who is verrrrrry different from me. ;)

[zen_monk]

There's an unexpected pleasure in playing out a Hawke who's brusque and aggressive because it looks like it's every Hawke for themselves and for whomever wants to associate with them. It's like the start of some bruiser who's climbing the social ladder and bringing their posse with them...

Wow, organized crime boss Hawke.

One thing that impressed me was the feeling that in Act 3, which I choose to have Hawke be more aggressive and bitter of the many trials of social upheaval and magical ne'er-do-wells, that it feels like she was able to let out annoyances and grievances to friends who, because they know each other for a long while, doesn't take the brusqueness personally but in stride. I mean, it happened with Fenris and with Varric, and when I do some angry grieving moments with Aveline post undead mother, I was impressed by how tense the moment was that it was about as emotionally charged as the sharing of dead parent stories.

I was really invested in this Hawke, who's suddenly very emotionally wild and rude and also hurt.

[sarasa_cat]

Eeeeeseees! All of this is making me want to play DA2 yet again.

The friend vs rival mechanics also change this texture of the story so when considering red vs purple vs bluegreen hawke against all the different combos of friendship and rivalry, there is so much potential for variety.

"organized crime boss Hawke"

Love this! I have one half played Hawke who is like this but that Hawke is male. I like the idea of female organized crime boss Hawke.

This kind of Hawke automatically invites a very complex relationship with characters like Aveline and Sebastian. Interesting with Varric too.

[zen_monk]

It's like, I started thinking I'm organized crime boss Hawke when I gave Isabela the ship and Castillon got a slave trade, and inside I'm like "this hurts my soul" but then afterwards I thought "ehhh maybe this is temporary, it'll never last long." I thought at this point Hawke no longer gave a damn about righting things in a certain way, and it almost didn't feel like there would be lasting repercussions.

Unlike, say, the Bone Pit being opened continuously. That was definitely the beginning, middle, and an end of a choice. How many dead miners, Hawke? What happened to forming a union, Hawke?

(mage manifesto? You mean, the People's Manifesto??? Anders????)

I definitely get the sense that after the events of Act 2, specifically All That Remains and the conclusion of the Qunari conflict, that Act 3 is about who you want to remain with Hawke. It's easy to construct a Hawke who is emotionally distraught in losing almost all of her family that they could be seen as someone unfettered, that it's one thing to be friends with someone who's aggressive and decisive like Red Hawke because you've been through Act 1 associating with someone who's trying to survive and thrive (especially Rogue Hawke with mage Bethany). You go along with them, you know them for a while, and you understand why they're tough as they are. You tolerate some of their actions while admiring them for making tough choices and doing it well (depending on red-blue Hawke in certain quests). Depending on what they're decisive on, which is how I also see Red choices to be, you get the comfort of knowing what they believe in.

But Act 3 is when there's the point in the relationship where you wonder if being with Hawke is still something to do. If it's even the -right- thing to do. Being Champion means they have an even greater voice, but is this the voice you want? If you say Act 1 or even Act 2 Hawke could be Kirkwall's first champion in years, you'd think "no way man, I wouldn't want that to happen." But now it did. And as Hawke's friend who've been with them for all this time, they'd probably start to think that maybe they should deal with their things personally. Distance has been established. Is Hawke the person I want to help me through to the end? Can I expect them to do as I expect them to? After all the losses and strife? Is Hawke my Champion?

And it's one thing when Merrill's rivaled or maybe Aveline (which I haven't yet, because i can't do that life in this playthrough of not being in Aveline's graces) or companions like Isabela and Varric who are pretty set in their beliefs to have faith in themselves and in Hawke.

But it's another when characters like Fenris and Sebastian and Anders really put their faith in Hawke and that when Hawke doesn't deliver then they were always surprised (except Anders; his type of trust in Hawke is that he knew enough about Hawke to really gauge how to control their reactions to his choices).

[sarasa_cat]

Act 3. ACT 3. This is why I find Hawke such an interesting character to RP.

Up to the end of Act 2, Hawke's story feels like it is building toward something (which it is) and then everything falls apart in Act 3. The difference between Hawkes is in the severity of how badly things fall apart and how Hawke reacts to it all.

"Act 3 is about who you want to remain with Hawke"

This.

I'm having a feels attack right now over how you described Act 3.

I think part of the reason why I have so many half-played Hawkes is because of Act 3's emotional brutality. For every Hawke I have created after my first Hawke, I have meta gamed to some extent just to see how the game changes with different Hawkes making different choices but by the time I get close to Act 3, I know what is going to happen and that's when I need to make decisions about what that Hawke will really be and how everyone will view that Hawke and ooooooooooooooowwwwwwww.

Also, Act 3 for my first Hawke while playing unspoiled left me so emotionally engaged *and* emotionally devastated that it is hard for me to commit to the same kind of emotional connection with other Hawkes.

Although, perhaps if I start by making mental notes for how I want *other* people to look at Hawke as Champion by the end of Act 3… hm. Now I want to play a new Hawke. ;)

I haven't yet rivaled Aveline although I have friended and rivaled everyone else. I've been meaning to rival Aveline but that needs to be with a bonafide jerk Hawke because I just cannot rival Aveline any other way.

Uuuuhhhhhhh. Having so many Hawke feels right now.

[zen_monk]

I admit to not having glommed onto Hawke aside from being the spokesperson of my intentions. I find nuance in blue and purple Hawke depending on how committed I am in having them stay that way, where blue Hawke can be noble but also distressingly obliging and seems to want to please everyone. Or Purple Hawke who gets a laugh out of Bethany in Legacy, which surprised me because of how heavy a part of that story was in knowing about Malcolm Hawke, and purple Hawke and Bethany really Iimpressed me on what kind of relationship it was. The kind of person who tried very hard to make others happy at the expense of their own masked feelings.

Red Hawke was surprisingly raw, and direct, depending on how it's done. It reallyf got me interested in Hawke as a character ias opposed to mouthpiece. All sorts of new surprises in this recent playthrough I'm having. Because this is the kind of renegade whom people like Aveline may want to keep hanging about because of both long history, of being family, but because otherwise ther being there means she's there to see when Hawke could break, and deal with it in a way that is less than stellar. The rise and fall of a friendship.

Someday I'd play a team where i haven't fully rivaled or friended anyone, and see them turn on Hawke at the final moment.

[sarasa_cat]

Purple Hawke's masked feelings has so much potential for interesting stories about who Hawke is, especially when fleshed out with Hawke's decisions on key quests and who they friend or rival. The purple Hawkes are characters I normally wouldn't think to write so every now and then I like to play a purple Hawke and experience that kind of tragedy.

My canon Hawke is a blue Hawke who desperately tries to hold an impossible situation together. That Hawke is a mage which creates an entire rationale for *why* she pleases everyone, does good, and tries to make Kirkwall a better place. By Act 3 that Hawke becomes such a tragic character because many characters had other plans and there is nothing Hawke can do. Hawke can't stop Thrask's disaster from unfolding and cannot understand why everything in that quest has gone so wrong. Hawke fails to stop Merrill's clan from attacking. Hawke has been so obliging that Meredith uses her to make a political point. Hawke tries to stop Anders but that doesn't work and then everything *really* falls apart. (And Hawke ends up in the miserable position of Viscount.) Hawke has a mouthpiece fascinates me for the reasons *why* Hawke does this especially when Hawke is a mage.

Red Hawke is my favorite kind of Hawke to play. The game feels satisfying with a red Hawke, especially when there is no illusion of Hawke being a heroic character. Overall, I like playing red Hawke but I like writing blue Hawke. Although I need to play blue Hawkes to remember how to write blue Hawke. ;D

So far, I have only lost Isabela during Act 2 because I didn't fully rival or friend her. I haven't yet played a game where characters turn on Hawke in the end because they feel indifferent about Hawke. I should try that. Good thing that game can be played reasonably quickly because there are so many interesting Hawkes!