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May. 5th, 2015 12:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zen_monk Earlier today, my grandma on my dad's side passed away from, I think, a brain aneurysm couple with other complications which I hadn't known the exact details on. My dad was able to be with her last Wednesday while she was hospitalized in Guangzhou, and three weeks ago he was there when she was just admitted, too.
Most of us pretty much expected she might pass while being admitted, but a lot of us thought she would still hold on but oh well. More regrets within me since I wished that I could've called on facetime a few days ago when she was still conscious. Or that I had already graduated from my undergrad degree a few years ago like my other peers and might have gotten along with my life when I could've been in grad school by now or gotten a job (or freeloading while jobless, I guess). Or just called to tell some white lies before she passed, like "I got a boyfriend!" (which I haven't and not really planning to get one anytime soon) or "I got a job; and i might go to grad school!" so she would've known there's some big part of my life that isn't just finishing college.
Ahhhh now just here thinking about the future and what to do about it. Got my grandpa left, and while he's still kicking around I wish I could do more than just graduate in June so that he could see one grandkid graduated. Sometimes I use to just think that if I got pregnant now, it'd make them great-grandparents and that would be a neat thing for them to experience since they would live that long to see that happening but ah well.
Most of us pretty much expected she might pass while being admitted, but a lot of us thought she would still hold on but oh well. More regrets within me since I wished that I could've called on facetime a few days ago when she was still conscious. Or that I had already graduated from my undergrad degree a few years ago like my other peers and might have gotten along with my life when I could've been in grad school by now or gotten a job (or freeloading while jobless, I guess). Or just called to tell some white lies before she passed, like "I got a boyfriend!" (which I haven't and not really planning to get one anytime soon) or "I got a job; and i might go to grad school!" so she would've known there's some big part of my life that isn't just finishing college.
Ahhhh now just here thinking about the future and what to do about it. Got my grandpa left, and while he's still kicking around I wish I could do more than just graduate in June so that he could see one grandkid graduated. Sometimes I use to just think that if I got pregnant now, it'd make them great-grandparents and that would be a neat thing for them to experience since they would live that long to see that happening but ah well.
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Date: 2015-05-05 02:14 pm (UTC)I'm sure that they don't feel like you've let them down. I'm sorry for your loss
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Date: 2015-05-06 01:18 am (UTC)I hope that what they would want is for you to live your most fulfilling life, and do what makes you happy with it, rather than what you think would make them happy.
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Date: 2015-05-06 02:38 am (UTC)