Things that made me mad nowadays...

[zen_monk]

List of recent things that led to anger breakdown:

1). I ordered a used Pokemon Emerald because I hear it's a good game and I don't feel like playing FireRed or Pearl pokemon anytime soon. I was super excited the first couple of days, but then weeks came by... and you know what? I ordered it on the 1st of November. What is the date today??? So I'm getting pissed off, steadily, and I obsessively check my Amazon account to see if I can trace my package and pester the seller with emails. Well, just last week, the stupid seller went and closed shop! "(insert stupide name) is no longer available," says Amazon. D: D: D: What the fuck. That means the asshole took my money and didn't give me anything (tomorrow is the last day of the "estimated" delivery status of Emerald). Excuse me while I click on zero stars and write a scathing review for a nonexistent storefront. I'm gonna get Amazon to reimburse me and use that reimbursement for a different seller.

2). Danger of failing math. Math a REPEAT of the senior year. 'Nuff said.

3). Nagging parents. EVERYDAY. "Take care of your skin..." "How's your classes?" "You know, come to us if you need help on math..." "Ask the teacher!" "You can't go to UC Berkeley the way you're going..." "Stop wasting time!" "I prefer my kids to read, I don't know, a Chemistry book instead of those stupid nonsense books (e.g. The God of Small Things, Pride and Prejudice, The Shining, The Giver...)." That last part was such an injury to my LITTLE BROTHER's dignity, that I cried for him.

4). I HATE COLLEGE. No, CITY COLLEGE. It's no different than being in high school aside from how the classes are organized and what kind of classes there are. But it's worse. I don't see anybody familiar, and those I do, I don't even know them enough to talk comfortably. I don't bother to socialize because I'm always busy; if I'm not in class, I'm busy catching the bus to go home and either go to work or get back before it gets dark. No clubs. No close friends (they all move on to REAL colleges), and I'm failing one class and hoping that I'll still get an okay GPA that will still get me the remainder of my scholarship for next semester. Which my parents ALSO remind me of.

5). This broke the camel's back. So, on the way to Cold Stone's for work, my parents (usually it's dad who drives me, but my mom wanted to come along for ice cream) were then talking about the play I was in during Senior year, "Witness for the Prosecution," which was the first play I was ever casted in. People told me they liked my performance, my mom and uncle and aunt said so, and I felt good about it. UNTIL:

"You looked like you were about to laugh!"

What??

"Like you couldn't control yourself onstage."

and my dad goes, "See, you're not an actor."

And Uncle and Aunt said the same thing.

And they keep repeating it, laughing at the fond memory, while I sat disillusioned and outraged. I was NOT laughing onstage! What the fuck! I mean, I felt like I was lied to. They gave me great compliments back then, but NOW they revealed their true colors. I (screamed) at them to stop the car, which was close to work, and I got out (they drove away) and walked to work sniffling and crying. I mean, if it was such a problem, why didn't the director correct it? Why? Because I was not laughing onstage and he didn't call me out on it. He said that it was good, and HE'S the one MAKING the show. Because it was such a minor role, I wasn't even mildly amused or nervous onstage because I didn't really do much!

I hate everything! Now I feel so angry and upset and I didn't sleep last night because I just kept thinking of what's happening this past month. Now I'm being nasty to everyone, and you know what? I don't care if I hurt them. I feel like I should be nasty to everyone and make life kind of miserable because I'm feeling very negative right now.